January 3, 2006
The Real Rewards of Coaching
By Ed Sipples

Seven special coaches from Killingworth were expected to receive the "Secretary of State's 2005 Public Service Award" on December 16. They are; Lou Annino Jr., Eric Auer, Shelly Cumpstone, Diane Flynn, Hilary Kumnick, Bill Silas and Ed Sipples. In very inclement weather, I made the 126 mile round trip to UCONN, only to find that the ceremony had been cancelled.

The purpose of this column was supposed to describe that ceremony, but since it did not take place, I'd like, instead, to describe some highlights of my coaching days and encourage others to volunteer to coach young children.

First, I never expected any public recognition like what was scheduled to happen on December 16th . What I did expect, was to receive a roster of children that I didn't know, at the beginning of each season. As a coach, one quickly learns that each child has strengths and weaknesses to offer to the team effort. Some children are very timid and shy; others are very aggressive; sometimes a kid is "out of control"; but most kids just want to play and have fun.

My goal was always to teach each of my players some new skills or in some cases, just teach them the rules of the sport so that at the end of the season, each player would improve in some way. The process of interacting with each player, at their own level, is what I remember most. If I now run into one of them on the street (I'm so old, they are all grown up) they remember those days and are very appreciative.

My first vivid memory was a young girl (one of only two ) on an otherwise all boys, hardball, baseball team. She had previously been hit and hurt by a pitched ball. She moved her front foot far away from the plate whenever the pitcher delivered the ball. She didn't want to get hit again. It took all season, but she conquered her fear, ended up staying in the batters' box, and actually got base hits. More importantly, she learned a life lesson, how to deal with a fear and overcome it!

Another experience was with a young boy who was the best basketball player on our team. He probably was the only player on this particular year's team that possessed strong skills and talent. The first couple of games he did quite well, but opposing teams quickly learned that if they could shut him down, the rest of our team couldn't do much and they could win the game. He started to get very frustrated, tried to single-handedly do too much and we kept losing games.

We worked on some new plays that involved other "weaker players". Eventually, these "weak" players started scoring. The opposing team had to stop concentrating on our star player and he was happier. It was a big confidence booster for the other players because they knew they were now important contributors to the success of our team. It was a win/win situation for these individuals and a life lesson. By working towards a common goal, the group effort is more successful than one individual's efforts, even if he is a star!

Another memory involves the word "fervor". I coached a young girls' basketball team one year that lacked intensity and aggressiveness. When the going got tough, they sort of folded. I latched onto the word "fervor" and introduced it to them as a cheer/cry when we broke out of a team huddle. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a new vocabulary word for some of my players. They came to learn what it meant and they embraced it.

Several years later, I was talking to the Mom of one of these players and the still young daughter said, "Mr. Sipples, I'll never forget that word of yours, "FIFI" or whatever, to get us charged up". I still enjoy telling that story.

I have many fond memories of my coaching days. I certainly got to know many of my daughters' friends well and to participate in this aspect of their growing up. In today's fast paced society, with both Mom and Dad working long hours, it isn't easy finding the time to volunteer.

But the kids need people like you and me to help them experience life's positive lessons. Look long and hard at your current schedule and see if you too can volunteer some of your precious time to this worthy and valiant cause. I'm glad I did, and I hope you can someday say the same thing, maybe because you made it a resolution for the new year in 2006.

(Ed Sipples is a newly elected selectman in Killingworth and served many years with the Haddam-Killingworth Recreation Department, the Killingworth Park and Recreation Commission and most recently, the Field Study Committee.)

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